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August 20, 2001

"Making a choice can be difficult. There are many things to take into consideration, people's opinions, their fears, our own and what is right. I believe that listening to your heart is the right way ..."


Her Choice

I have known Siew Yee since 1996 when we became housemates. She was then working as a reporter for a local newspaper. Like Ally McBeal, she had a lot of hang-ups, too where her family and work was concerned.

Having earned her degree in the US, she couldn't quite reconcil herself to the Malaysian way of living. She longed to return to the US, feeling that it was where she belonged.

Taking a ride from Siew Yee could be hazardous, you never knew when you could be in an accident: she had a few. Sometimes she drove like she had a stampede behind her, recklessly. But she had a lot on her mind.

Having a problem where men were concerned, she felt she didn't need one in her life, that is, until she met her present boyfriend. They met online in a chatroom, she, who didn't believe in love through the internet.

Her family didn't like the idea of him in her life: he was in the US and they were of different race. Despite all the opposition, she went twice to see him.

Times have changed and it's the women who make the effort to go see the men. I felt that to show his sincerity towards her, he should at least have come once to meet her family. After all, he is a Malaysian, too. But she accepted him as he was and after the first meeting, they discovered that the love that grew online was real.

Emotionally, Siew Yee was a wreck. When asked for advice, as a friend, I supported whatever decision she made as only she would know: to follow her heart.

And two and a half months ago, she left Malaysia to join her boyfriend after recieving her visa.

Recently, I had the opportunity to chat with her online. She was doing fine and would continue her studies. As to her relationship, at the moment, it was going well.

She said, she didn't know whether she had made the right choice. Whether she had or not, it was not a matter of only time would tell, it was a matter of taking risks, of taking a step instead of wallowing in the world of what ifs. And whatever the choice is, there should be no regrets ...