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"Children have more need of models than of critics."

-- Joseph Joubert --

"Live life as it should be,
See with the eyes of a child,
Hear every beat of life ,
Feel from deep within the heart
And smell the breath of love and life
Every second of the day."

March 26th, 2002

Memories of you are what I have ...

Every time I come back from my hometown, I remember how it was like then, knowing that every time I came back, we would be meeting up that evening to have dinner and spend time together ... it brings tears to my eyes.

I am sure that many of you have been in my position or are in my position so it's nothing new really ... it's a pretty normal situation to be in when you fall in love.

Some people would sometimes tell you that you are probably in love with the idea of being in love.

Is love a gut feeling? Can you feel it deep inside that this is THE ONE? And if you do and you realise that this is the best thing that has happened to you, do you let it go because people say it is wrong? If you do then you don't deserve being given a chance.

There are songs that talk about what could have been. Kate Winslet sang a song about what ifs ... i think the song is great and well, she's okay. There are so many what ifs. I don't want to look back and have what ifs crowd my mind. I don't want any what ifs around. I believe it is a pest. It gets in the way of progress. If you want to do something, do it and don't go what iffing around because in the end, we are just procrastinating.

What if is great for ideas but not when you are making decisions. What if I say goodbye and then find out that that was the best thing and I let it go and someone else got it. Most probably, people will go like "hey, it wasn't yours then in the first place". But what if it could have been yours and you lost it because you didn't value it as much as you should have.

It's sometimes silly to say, "let it go and if it comes back then it is yours". What if the other person just got discouraged and found someone else who valued her/him more. Isn't it the wisest decision to cut lose and not hang around for someone who didn't want her/him?

It's all about choices we make and no blaming it on destiny, "oh no, we weren't fated to be together in the first place". In the first place, did you even try your very best at all?

Yes, I was given chances and I took them all, breaking my heart a few times but I took the chances and I tried to make them work but they didn't because somehow or other, it was always one-sided.

So when something like this happens, when it is reciprocrated, do I want to let something like this go?